Tomorrow it will be two weeks since our little angel left us. Oh how my heart aches. I miss her so much. :'-( Our family is incomplete without her. My days feel empty. Yes, I have a lot more free time now, but I would give up all of my free time to have her back in my arms.
Every little thing reminds me of my sweet little girl. As I walk down the baby isle to pick up diapers for Ruby, my mind says, "Do I need diapers for Sierra?" "Am I almost out of suppositories for Sierra or do I need to buy more." "I wonder if Sierra could drink out of that sippy cup." "There are some cute bows that would look good in Sierra's hair." On and on it goes. Then reality comes crashing down.
I found that every Saturday that came around, shortly after Ethan's death, was hard because he passed away on a Saturday. Then the first 5th of the month came, and that was hard (since he passed on the 5th of June). Setting the table for 3 instead of 4 was just so hard. Homeschooling without Ethan--hard. Wondering how he would love it here in WA when we moved here. It's all a part of the grief process. My heart aches for you. Be good to yourself. Take care of your family of course, but go gentle on yourself and don't set too high of expectations on yourself. This was the best advice I was given...to simply just take care of yourself so that you can care for your family. With time, much time, we can somewhat heal from losing our children, though we are forever changed. I hope I am not writing too much and giving too much advice. We all grieve differently, and what helps me may not help you. My deepest apologies in advance if I wrote too much or the wrong things. I really do care. :o)
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